Stress
Not so good these past few days. Stress at work and at home has ended up being the excuse du’jour. New team, means new people to train up and new shit to fix. Starting to see the glimmer of easiness behind the tarnished surface. The home life has been in the shitter since last month’s IUI didn’t work and we got turned down by two banks for a loan to start the adoption process. Banker said I should have spent more time building up equity instead of paying off debt. Said our debt to income ratio was amazing but our lack of collateral was a deal killer. Can’t blame them since they have there own jobs to do. Just pisses me off that I can remember me and Shannon consciously making the decision to pay down debt rather than build equity in the house. Picked the wrong one for this situation.
But that wasn’t the kicker. I actually want to us to do a few more months of IUI and hold off on starting the adoption process. Turns out I don’t get as much say as I assumed I should. Still working on that discussion. Still working through that one but it just feels shitty to give up with the only medical explanation being “Unexplained Infertility”. What kinda bullshit diagnosis is that? Who decided that the “I don’t know” excuse is allowed? You think there would have been announcement over the PA or some memo sent out. Would have been real handy back during calculus.
THe final straw is stumbling across this statute. But since my health insurance is through an HMO they don’t have to offer this kind of coverage. So everything relating this has been out of pocket expenses, which leads back to the first paragraph about needing money and being unhappy with work. Merry fucking go round of stress and loathing.
So fuck feeling bad about not losing weight this week. Hell, I am just glad that I made it 6 miles this week.