As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night, she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question — “Is this all?”

-Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique

I know that right now is atypical in what I could expect as a stay at home dad…  But with that being said I kinda have the feeling that it wouldn’t be that bad from the amount of work required.  Housework usually is done by about noon.  Toss in an extra hour or two for the yard work.  The mental and emotional bit is a bit daunting but that is what play groups are for.  So while it is a bit isolating and daytime TV is horrible this isn’t the hell that Betty Friedan made it out to be.  It’s work, but no more challenging than my regular job.  Has society come far enough to make Betty’s original concerns moot or since I have a penis I can’t begin to understand the burden that housewives carry?

On the adoption front.  2 months or so until the big day.  Getting really nervous.  Will I always make the right decisions?  Will I be a good dad?  I can’t be the first prospective parent to worry about these things.  I just hope that I don’t screw anything up.  I figure minor mistakes are going to happen and are ok.  I just don’t want to make any big mistakes since mistakes in this situation will effect my son for the rest of his life.  Gotta remember to teach him how to be a good man.  

Man I am feeling introspective tonight.  Usually takes a few beers to get that way but I haven’t had a drop in a while.  No big grand plan to not drink, just lost the taste for beer.  Used to have a beer with dinner on occasion but now it ends up overpowering the flavor of the food.  Oh well, at least I know I won’t miss it if I do give up my six pack a month beer habit…  I really have toned down since back in college.

I don’t get it.  Last year I did the same damn thing as what I am doing now and was able to drop 30 pounds.  I was hoping to be able to do that on and off over the next couple of years and make long term progress.  But right now I can’t seem to get any headway.  Between my shins, ankle and feet versus work sucking, I don’t know which to try and blame.  (Of course I read that last sentence and think to myself that all of those have me in common so what should I REALLY blame.)  With Shannon gone for a week I am going to focus on getting some stuff straight.  Maybe without the distraction I can figure out what is different now versus then.

The only good thing I can say is that we have the money squared away for the adoption now.  Shannon and I can’t agree on when to start the process though.  I want a few more attempts at IUI’s and she is ready to throw in the towel.  I think the happy middle ground is going to be one more attempt and if it doesn’t work we start the process but continue doing IUI’s as well.  Just feels like we are giving up a little.