Convinced Shannon to agree to sign up at Fuse Fitness here in Bentonville. Pretty nice gym when compared to Walton Fitness Center or the others I have been in. The real question is will this translate into any measurable sucess. Can’t decide if I am going to set a goal of weight loss at first or just plain going to the gym consistently.
Need to find some sort of hobby to take up my spare time. Bored me isn’t a good me. It is too hot outside and I am too lazy for most of the outdoor activities. (Never mind the foot issue.) Might go buy one of those mini-ITX boards and try and build a computer in to some weird case mod. Either that or learn to write an app for my Blackberry. Nothing spectacular just something to do. It’s either that or go back to vegging out in front of the TV and that has paid off in pounds.
I don’t get it. Last year I did the same damn thing as what I am doing now and was able to drop 30 pounds. I was hoping to be able to do that on and off over the next couple of years and make long term progress. But right now I can’t seem to get any headway. Between my shins, ankle and feet versus work sucking, I don’t know which to try and blame. (Of course I read that last sentence and think to myself that all of those have me in common so what should I REALLY blame.) With Shannon gone for a week I am going to focus on getting some stuff straight. Maybe without the distraction I can figure out what is different now versus then.
The only good thing I can say is that we have the money squared away for the adoption now. Shannon and I can’t agree on when to start the process though. I want a few more attempts at IUI’s and she is ready to throw in the towel. I think the happy middle ground is going to be one more attempt and if it doesn’t work we start the process but continue doing IUI’s as well. Just feels like we are giving up a little.
Not so good these past few days. Stress at work and at home has ended up being the excuse du’jour. New team, means new people to train up and new shit to fix. Starting to see the glimmer of easiness behind the tarnished surface. The home life has been in the shitter since last month’s IUI didn’t work and we got turned down by two banks for a loan to start the adoption process. Banker said I should have spent more time building up equity instead of paying off debt. Said our debt to income ratio was amazing but our lack of collateral was a deal killer. Can’t blame them since they have there own jobs to do. Just pisses me off that I can remember me and Shannon consciously making the decision to pay down debt rather than build equity in the house. Picked the wrong one for this situation.
But that wasn’t the kicker. I actually want to us to do a few more months of IUI and hold off on starting the adoption process. Turns out I don’t get as much say as I assumed I should. Still working on that discussion. Still working through that one but it just feels shitty to give up with the only medical explanation being “Unexplained Infertility”. What kinda bullshit diagnosis is that? Who decided that the “I don’t know” excuse is allowed? You think there would have been announcement over the PA or some memo sent out. Would have been real handy back during calculus.
THe final straw is stumbling across this statute. But since my health insurance is through an HMO they don’t have to offer this kind of coverage. So everything relating this has been out of pocket expenses, which leads back to the first paragraph about needing money and being unhappy with work. Merry fucking go round of stress and loathing.
So fuck feeling bad about not losing weight this week. Hell, I am just glad that I made it 6 miles this week.