Went before the judge today. Kinda scary quick how fast it went. I guess that may be due to our lawyer doing his job behind the scenes. Either way it is all official now. Afterwards, Shannon and I had planned on wanting to do something to celebrate. That something was to take a three hour nap. And I am glad to say that is exactly what I needed to celebrate with.
Powdered formula we use has given Colin constipation. Time to switch. Besides that everything else is kinda drifting along. Tired as hell right now due to having a long day. But at least the house is clean.
I was gung ho to use the standard square blanket for swaddling Colin. Shannon found some custom shaped pieces of fabric with velcro. Those things keep Colin locked up in blanket goodness. Although I do feel bad since they kinda remind me of baby straight jackets. But it keeps him feeling all warm and secure so I can’t complain much.
Had the first Dr’s appt today. All is well, except that we need to continue waiting for the fluid to go down in his penis area before we can get him circumsized. Was nice to hear the Dr reaffirm that it was ok to let Colin cry for a few moments before rushing to pick him up. Might make night times better. We shall see.
Found a couple of websites that sell snarky baby onesies. Need to find a few to buy that express the inner geek in him that I will draw out of him as he gets older. Speaking of inner geek. Time to try out the ability to include an image within the post.
Holding him one armed while he just quietly stared at everyone.
Not as good a day as yesterday. Colin has started to demand to be held all the time. Yesterday it was feed him and hold him till he goes to sleep. Once he went to sleep we could put him in the bassinet for an hour or so. Now we don’t get that. Not sure if it is the sound of heartbeats, temperature of our bodies or the angle he is held at that makes the difference. Going to play with the AC tonight and his clothing to see if raising the ambient temperature for him does the trick.
After a very tiring day at the hospital we finally got discharged. Only real long term issue is now the tailbone thing. Nurse wasn’t too technical with us but there is a clump of nerves/blood vessels/tendons/pulleys/etc etc.. at the base of the spine. They saw something a little goofy when checking him out and want to schedule an MRI at a later date to make sure it isn’t serious. If there is something wrong a quick procedure can fix it. If it doesn’t get fixed then it’ll hurt his posture and mobility a little bit when he gets older and starts to move around. Considering how calmly that was relayed to us it sounds pretty straightforward. But it may be nothing so no worries yet.
On the home front side, it is taking some effort to make Shannon realize that when it is my turn to deal with Colin she needs to focus on resting up and not hovering. Not sure if that is nervousness or just plain fear that my having testicles means I am going to mess things up. Going to give her a chance to calm down about it before I start really calling her on it. The three hour feeding schedule is going to suck but I think once we find our rhythm we should be alright. I say this after Colin just woke up screaming since halfway through his sleep cycle he had a massive dirty diaper. Need to figure out a way to encourage him to take care of that when he is awake.
Paperwork side of things is going along ok. Figured out how to get him added to Shannon’s insurance eventually so when it is time we can hit the ground running about that one. Next up is trying to get a college fund started. That is going to be a pain in the ass since all the documentation reads like a car manual. In theory it is straight forward but they can’t just say “Give us money for 18 years and we’ll give you 4 yours of college.” with out making it into a 4 page disclaimer.
Had a scary call from b-mom this morning. She is resting up from the cesarian and had some tearing and leakage. At first I panicked and didn’t realize it was a little tearing and not a full blown tear. My inner vision in my mind was that she was having her “stuff” poking out of the wound. (Stuff being the non-medical term for her bits since I have no idea what a cesarian really is beyond that it is an alternate way to get a kid out of a uterus.) Was so glad to hear that it wasn’t as bad as I thought but it goes to show how I need to think before I react.
It is kinda odd to figure out what our relationship is going to be with b-mom and b-dad now. You have everyone else telling you their opinion on how we should interact. We need to make sure to tune those external people out and only listen to the 5 people involved. Myself, Shannon, B-mom, B-dad and eventually Colin. Anyone else’s opinion needs to be ignored. I’ll probably try and give them a call next week to see how they are doing. Hopefully there is no awkwardness or if there is it wears off quickly.
Latest and greatest goal that I want to work towards is taking Sun’s java certification tests. Ought to be fun.
Took Shannon, my sister, godchild and myself to Andy’s. Was kinda nice in that Saturday Evening Post kinda way. Wasn’t meant to last though. Abigail had a busy day and decided she was ready to go back home right that instance. Never mind the 10 minutes of driving left.
So my big project these past two years has been building a patio and leveling the backyard. Both of these are to help keep the ground drier so that the dogs don’t track in mud. FInally threw in the towel and decided to get a contractor to get me a bid on doing the project. I just can’t seem to be able to finish it myself. Kinda annoyed that I need help in setting the railroad ties but they are just too heavy for me.
On the adoption front. 2 months or so until the big day. Getting really nervous. Will I always make the right decisions? Will I be a good dad? I can’t be the first prospective parent to worry about these things. I just hope that I don’t screw anything up. I figure minor mistakes are going to happen and are ok. I just don’t want to make any big mistakes since mistakes in this situation will effect my son for the rest of his life. Gotta remember to teach him how to be a good man.
Man I am feeling introspective tonight. Usually takes a few beers to get that way but I haven’t had a drop in a while. No big grand plan to not drink, just lost the taste for beer. Used to have a beer with dinner on occasion but now it ends up overpowering the flavor of the food. Oh well, at least I know I won’t miss it if I do give up my six pack a month beer habit… I really have toned down since back in college.
Been almost 5 months since I last posted. Not much has changed. Including my weight. Got the creative urge though so I need to figure out how to channel it into this site. Stay tuned.
I have always been a fan about trying to understand our culture. How did America get to be “America” kinda stuff. One of the beliefs that I zeroed in on throughout my life is that our country is a country of individuals going through life on many paths that all somehow lead us to a similar experiences. We may not walk on the same path in the woods but we all walk through the woods if I can be allowed a weak metaphor.
So one of the things I feel strongly about is personal religious views. You can have whatever views you want, they can have theirs, I can have mine as long as we all agree to infringe or impact anyone else. To use another metaphor, you right to swing your fist ends when you touch me. And my views have shifted throughout my life. Catholic, methodist, baptist, buddhist, agnostic, atheist. Those have been the major religious dogmas I have at one point followed. I realize this so I do kinda take a less than serious approach to religion and strict devotion. So much of faith is built upon not knowing and having to take things on faith… (That is one of the least elegant ways to make that point and I should do better.) How dare I assume that something I believe be the one true answer.
So as with other times in my life I have felt the religious pendulum swing again in my life. I don’t think it is a denominational swing but more of a participation swing. Trying to walk the walk. Being a better person based on my deeds and not just my thoughts. Feels good but also feels very awkward. At some point I’ll either drift again or the newness will wear off and it’ll be a habit. Part of this shift comes from the Emerging Church movement. That church life is more than slapping on some slacks and writing a check for the collection. That “Thou shall” is just as important as “Thou shall not” to follow.
I’ll let this rattle around a bit more in my life and maybe this will be an interesting ride. Or maybe in six months from now I’ll be contemplating a conversion to Judaism or Wicca.